“You are allowed to be human.”
All throughout the process of publishing my first book, I felt horrible about myself and about what I was doing. I thought that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. Certain people around me made me feel like I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I was ashamed of myself and the work I had done. I felt my greatest fear hurdling at me - full speed - with no intention of slowing down: appearing stupid, ignorant, and as a bad person in front of hundreds of people. Despite that, I was encouraged to continue to write, so I did.
As time went on, I began to realize why I even published Young Words in the first place. I discovered that I used to think that because I was a kid, God didn’t care about me. I used to think that God only listens to adults and hears their prayers, since they’re “always right”. I used to think I didn’t matter to God and that I was going to be wrong until I became an adult because I “don’t know anything”. Being wrong, being ignorant, were my greatest fears – they still are. That is why I wrote and published my first book. While the work may have been mediocre, I published it to prove a point. I published it to prove I was not stupid, I was not ignorant, I was not unimportant, and that I did matter. I wanted to matter as a child. I wanted to matter as a teenager and young adult. I wanted to matter to God…I was taught to feel that I didn’t matter unless I was doing or saying something important. But that is incorrect, as I matter because I was born – because God gave me a life.
I published my book to prove just the opposite of what I had been taught. I am not worthless because I am child. I am a child of God. I am somebody important because I am alive. It doesn’t matter if my age is 10, 15, 20, etc. We are important. We matter. We have thoughts, feelings, and opinions because we are human.
As young humans, we may not always be right, but we are not always wrong. No matter what age you are, God gave you life for a reason. “You are allowed to be human.”